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Today is my one-year anniversary of leaving NYC. I can’t even begin to describe the journey that unfolded, that is still unfolding, every-evolving with each day that passes. From the beaches of India to the monastic forests of Southern Thailand, back up to the untouched land of Northern Michigan, and into the beauty of the Catskills and Berkshires, I find myself using this time to reflect on all that I have learned and experienced. While I enjoy all the memories of laughter and adventure, I keep returning to all the teachers that I have been blessed to study with and learn from. So on this day, let this be a celebration of the journey and a homage to the teachers that crossed my path. May we all meet again.
Through my life, I’ve always been one to say “everything happens for a reason”, and I still believe this fully. But after this year, I can elaborate on this with certainty. People cross our paths at the exact time we are to meet. This is our gift from the Universe and I don’t believe we have any control on those meetings happening. But it is up to us to choose to cultivate and nurture a relationship – or perhaps we choose not to do anything. We are presented with opportunities, all the time, to learn from others. Sometimes these people appear as formal teachers, with credentials and certifications that resonate with us, and other times they are simply a peer or even a stranger we might only have one conversation with. What I’ve learned is this: each and every person and interaction is an opportunity for learning and growth.
So often we forget that we do not have all the answers. It’s a very humbling thing to remember as often as you can. Because that act of letting go – that choice to be vulnerable – is such a crucial tool in opening yourself up to deeper connection and ultimately, deeper learning. I used to be so intimidated by people who had more knowledge than me in the things I was interested in, especially those who could be in my peer group (opposed to an older formal teacher). That sounds so backwards, doesn’t it? But as I embarked on this trip last year, I knew I was in for a big awakening in many ways, and learning was top on my list. I wanted to learn as much as I could about yoga and spirituality, teaching, love, myself. This is a never-ending quest, of course, but I was ready to dive headfirst into it as priority #1 for the first time in my life. What occurred was beyond anything I could have imagined.
The teachers who facilitated my 200-hr yoga teacher training in Goa, India were so wonderful. Each so knowledgeable in their own right, their own specialty, and we had a number of guest lecturers come through. Beyond the eight limbs of yoga, Sanskrit, yoga history and theory, the 30 days of pure immersion with 27 other students was a huge learning experience. So many of us were traveling down similar paths: changing careers, embarking on self-discovery, searching for something greater, something more authentic and gratifying than the life we’d been living. I fell into a tight crew of girls, many of whom stayed in Goa for a month or two after the training was over. These girls were my rocks and a constant source of inspiration and knowledge. They will also all understand the picture below :)
During the training I explored dream analysis with a Zen Buddhism teacher as a way to make sense of the wild meflaquin-fueled dreams I was having each night. I’d never known the theory behind how our conscious and subconscious minds deal – or don’t deal – with the things that we dream. It was so fascinating.
One night I wandered into a restaurant called Magic Park with a dear friend of mine. Our first visit there was a game-changer for both of us, on many different levels. Teachers, friends, lovers, amazing conversation: Magic Park offered everything. One particular person – a lovely man named Rolf – taught me two invaluable lessons. First, the importance of your words, specifically suspending the use of “should” and anything similar. Ever since that day, whenever I catch myself using language with “should”, “need to”, etc, I take a deep breath and rephrase whatever I had to say. It makes a difference, changing the intention of your words like that.
The other lesson from Rolf changed how I live my life on a daily basis. You know those moments where you find yourself worrying about something you cannot control or decide about yet? For example, the moment you discover you’ve lost your phone and set out retracing your steps, or you get pulled over by a police officer, and have to sit and wait to see what happens next? It is in these moments that we can make a choice to either dwell in the worst-case scenario and let all the “what ifs” run through our minds, basically freaking ourselves out with worry; or, we can choose to breathe, relax and wait to see what actually happens. As humans, our egos are constantly drawn to the drama, and since drama doesn’t actually exist, we tend to fabricate things in our head instead. So you get pulled over. In this moment you can either choose to get overly upset because now you are going to get a ticket, have to go to court, pay a fine, which means the money you saved to buy that new suit will be gone, and to top it off you’re late for that do-or-die business lunch. So basically, this ruins your entire career. Wait—doesn’t this seem a little extreme? YES! That’s the point. The mind takes us to crazy places of worry and doubt, when in reality nothing has even happened yet. One little change in your perception of the situation could have you speaking honestly and calmly to the police officer, apologizing and owning up to your violation, being totally open to the situation. And here’s the important thing: doing all this with the intention of everything turning out just fine. Knowing that everything will be ok. And you know what? It usually is, especially if you shift your thoughts, words and actions away from worry and doubt and instead, enjoy, trust and surrender to the moment. (Thank you Rolf!)
In Goa I met a teacher for life, Master Gregory James. I was blessed to practice Tai Chi with him and other students on the shores of the Arabian Sea as the sun set, welcoming each evening with slow and steady intention. Immediately following one particularly powerful session, I experienced a breakthrough in meditation that I will never forget. It was the first time I found a physical practice that affected me more powerfully than asana (i.e. doing yoga postures). The discussions with “MG” were always insightful and thought-provoking. Every single session taught me so much about myself and my practice. Although our time was brief, I know we’ll be crossing paths again soon.
A month later I found myself in the forests of Southern Thailand, participating in a 10-day silent meditation retreat, called Vipassana. It was there that I realized the power of finding teachers in the stillness that comes from such an experience. I no longer had to look outward; instead, I sat with myself in nature. I learned just as much – or perhaps even more – from the birds, the ants, the rocks and the water than the monks and nuns who lectured each day. But most importantly, I learned from myself. Sitting in the silence of Vipassana is not just about no longer talking. It’s about finding that silence in the mind; learning from the vacillations from thought to no thoughts and everything in between. As the saying goes, the best teacher truly lies within each of us.
A month later in Bali, I was fortunate to teach my first yoga retreat. Ten days on the Northern coast of that magical island was such a learning experience. One where I deliberately put myself in a situation that terrified me. As a new teacher, I had to build up as much confidence as I could muster, even if I didn’t necessarily believe it at the time. What I found was amazing. Each and every moment served as a chance to learn, finding the connections between my actions and the students’ actions, my words and their practice. It was there I learned how unique and special each student really is, each with her own goals, struggles and reasons for coming to the mat.
The most profound teacher I met on my journey was in Bali, on the tiny party island Gili Trawangan. Why I was there, and why an enlightened Indian yogi was there, I’ll never know. But he walked straight up to me on a crowded road and asked me if I did yoga, fully knowing what my answer would be. This random-seeming occurrence was absolutely meant to be in every way, and we continue to communicate regularly from halfway across the world. Meeting Rahul was – and is – a deeply personal experience. My deepest gratitude to him and his continued teachings.
It is interesting to me that although I did not study with any formal teachers in my two-month Balinese journey, I learned more there about myself than anywhere else. Perhaps it was because of the timing, perhaps it was the energy of that magical place, or perhaps it was the beautiful company I kept there. Namely, my lovely soul sisters Jenn and Kristan. Our conversations went on for hours, each full of new realizations, perceptions and emotions. My deepest gratitude to them and all the friends I met along the way.
Back up to Thailand one last time, I had a whirlwind three weeks. The first few days I will never forget, as much as I probably wanted to forget at the time. I couch-surfed at a small ashram-type guesthouse with a Buddhist guy who told me more about myself and my character – good and bad – than I cared to face at the time. It was such a test of strength, trust and courage. I ultimately made the choice to leave the situation and continue on with my plans, but the experience showed me so much. It taught me about the delicate balance of trusting other people you encounter on this spiritual path. I saw first-hand how some seekers can get sucked into a person’s message and ultimately become a follower, due to their own weaknesses and self-doubt. Although that situation was filled with negativity and doubt, I am forever grateful for the lessons that came out of it. No one ever said you have to like a teacher in order for their message to be heard.
That last trip to Thailand I studied with a wonderful Thai massage teacher, Yan, at the Sunshine School of Thai Massage. This was the perfect example of how much I learned from my peers. There were eight people in our class, each with a body so remarkably unique that it was like starting anew each time. We were all so vocal that we quickly learned how to teach each other what felt good, what could use improvement, etc. If only people could communicate like that outside the classroom!
Socially, my time in Chaing Mai was the most unexpected blessing of my entire trip. Thanks to the amazing Emily Baxter, I was connected with an wonderful kula of yogis and yoginis. Most of us were formal teachers in some facet, the others still teachers in their own right. Never before had I felt so at home. I learned how to let go and just dive headfirst into a community of people, filled with love and total acceptance. It was like all veils were lifted and authenticity shined through each and every one of us. No matter where we were – on the mat, at a night market, in the sauna – the air just radiated with joy. It was through this experience that my standards for community were raised. My deepest gratitude to the Wild Rose Kula, especially sweet, sweet Rosemary.
Teachers. More and more I realize that formal teachers are only a small – albeit important – piece of the pie. The people you surround yourself with teach you so much, whether you invite it or not. For this reason it is so important to choose your friends and peers wisely, because you will learn from and internalize their actions and words. It doesn’t stop with people. Art, movement, nature – these can all teach us valuable lessons if we only open up and truly connect with what surrounds us. But above all, in this journey I can now say with confidence: the greatest teacher truly is yourself.
Something happened today in yoga class. Both this morning and afternoon class, something powerful started brewing. It came into the eyes around the room, almost like a wave coming up and settling slowly across the room. It happened a few times and each time I saw it, I felt a sense of overwhelming peace. Like epitomizing the reason for teaching in the first place.
Today was about balance. After a long holiday weekend, many of us can say our sense of balance was tested in more ways than one. And not to blame fireworks, fishing, eating and whatever else you indulge in on the 4th of July. Our balance is tested everyday. Relationships, work life, diet, activity, you name it. We are constantly striving to figure out what mix works best for us. At least we should be.
Living a life in balance takes practice. I sure as hell work on it on a daily basis. In asana, everything takes practice. As Sri K. Pattabhi Jois said, Practice, practice, practice, practice.
Today we explored how the keys to achieving balancing poses in asana directly relates to living our lives.
Pop quiz: Can you do this?
My answer for every one of them? YES
As we made our way into more difficult arm balances, I decided to share one of my favorite quotes:
“Simply put, the reason there are things you want in life that have not yet appeared, is because you’re just not used to thinking of yourself with them.” -The Universe aka Mike Dooley
A teacher once told us if we can hold ourselves in chaturanga dandasana, we could do this pose (version of parsva bakasana). That changed everything.
So I shared with the room. Suddenly, people perked up and started giving it a shot. As I watched them – fully in their moment, their determination, concentration and breath all working together – I felt my heart melting just a little bit with every try. This was yoga.
In yoga, we are not working on the poses. We are working on ourselves.
So what are the tools for balancing in asana?
- Foundation: Everything starts with a strong foundation. Feel your body firmly rooted to the earth and pressing down to rise up.
- Breath: Breathing evenly and controlled. Not getting flustered, upset or crossing past your edge – these are things that cause us to hold the breath or breathe erratically. Relaxing completely, feeling at ease and joyful in your actions.
- Core: Strength comes from the inside out. Feeling strong and steady in your core allows you to move purposefully and with integrity.
- Focus: Gazing at an unwavering dristi point in front of you, softening your stare to an intent yet relaxed state. Letting whatever else is happening around you fade into the background.
- Attitude: Ah, it always comes back to the mind. In asana, when you fall, just laugh, get up and try it again. This is what makes you stronger.
Such is life. Such is life.
Judging from the look on my face, yesterday may as well have been Christmas for me. After three weeks of patiently waiting, I got a call from Mahavir telling me my package had arrived. My mother sent this package before Christmas, after weeks of my debating the things I really couldn’t live without while over here in India. Because I spent so much time reading blogs and articles about what to bring for an extended stay in India, I wanted to pay it forward and do the same for others to be uber-prepared before they board the plane. And away we go!
- Altec Lansing travel speakers + AAA batteries: Wow wow wow. I can’t say enough about this speaker. I don’t know what I was thinking leaving home without proper speakers. Once I realized my iPod touch had the sound equivilent to a mosquito, and my netbook’s speakers rivaled a miniature toy train’s engine, I realized I needed to get something pronto. I don’t trust buying electronics here and I knew I could get something great on Amazon, so I found this with its hundreds of positive reviews and ordered it in under 30 seconds. The entire thing is about the diameter of a coaster, only a couple of inches tall and it weighs less than my wallet. The sound is up there with a proper iPod dock, deep and full even at high volume. The case is super protective and comes with a mini-carabiner for quick and easy transport. Definitely include a few sets of AAA batteries because you never know how long Indian batteries will actually last :)
- Gap sports bras: I made the mistake of buying a brand new sports bra for this trip, a fancy hot yoga style from Lululemon. By day one noticed the fit was wrong and quickly realized this was not going to work out. Trouble is, there is no where to get a proper, well-made sports bra, except for the Nike store about 1 hour away. But who knew if they’d even have what I want? Because I wanted something that doubled as a regular bra, I want with this. Great for light activity and all the racerback tops you end up finding here! (I kid you not – about 80% of the tanks I see for sale here are racerback. Something to note.)
- Basic tank tops: I cannot stress enough how key this is! I did not bring my favorite beaters with me, for fear that they’d be too “revealing” only to find that in Goa, they throw decency out the window. Most of the time here, less is more. So I had a couple colorful ones and a beige one that can be dressed up or down. *For those of you heading elsewhere in India, make sure you have other options with sleeves.
- American Apparel black leggings: It gets cold here in Goa in January. And half the tops are tunics. Leggings just make sense.
- SanDisk 8GB Flash Drive: I only brought two of these (2 and 4GB) and they are already full. I’ll be upgrading to an external hard drive soon.
- Essential oil – Egyptian Goddess: If you have a favorite oil or perfume, do yourself a favor and bring it unless it’s extremely common. I can go into any shop here and find most oils but not this. Again, ordered from Amazon and shipped home.
- Ziplock bags: Hard to find, super handy. Anything from food, liquids, loose batteries, toilet rolls, etc.
- Cliff bars: I say I need these for “emergency situations” but the biggest emergency I’d had so far was having the flu and not wanting to get out of bed to eat, so I at a stash of Cliff bars. I’m not kidding myself – these will be gone before I arrive in Bangkok.
- Skinny watch: I mentioned this before, but it quickly came to my attention (swimming in the sea) that this watch is in fact not waterproof, so I had another one sent. It’s $20 and feels weightless on your wrist.
- Dove deodorant: Make note: I searched countless stores in North Goa for powder deodorant. It’s not available. Period. Unless you want the roll-on kind in a hot, sticky climate, do yourself a favor and bring exactly what you know and love.
- Alba SPF 45 face lotion: I have had the hardest time finding true, natural products here. I thought with all the ayurvedic treatments and whatnot it’d be relatively easy. But no – it is so commercialized here in Goa that they have all these American and knock-off brands with tons of chemicals and toxins. (Don’t even get me started on the yoga mats here…they actually infuse them with a permanent stench of chemicals.) This product is readily available at Whole Foods and has done wonders for my skin.
- Jarrow Formulas Saccharomyces Boulardii + Mos 5 billion probiotics (90 count): This stuff is amazing. It’s room temperature stable so no worries for long-term traveling. 90 count lasts 2-3 months. These are great to take during any long plane or train rides. Really helps to keep everything in check.
And of course my Mom snuck in some other edible goodies that shall remain nameless :)
When I meet my awesome parents in Thailand in early February, I’ll inevitably have another long list of stuff, which will be nicely packed in my amazing new replacement suitcase they will be bringing on the plane. I’ve been waiting patiently for a couple of months now, as the cost to ship it to India would have run at least $500. Luckily I’ve been staying in one place for the most part.
Looking at the beginning of my current list for them to bring in February, I’ll leave with these last few suggestions:
- Good pens
- Good toothbrush
- And for all you ladies, tampons! For some reason they are almost impossible to find here.
Happy travels!
xoxo
Amy Carole
Over the past two weeks, I’ve learned so much about yoga philosophy, anatomy, psychology, chakras, asanas, chanting and meditation. During anatomy we discussed how each of us have “facilitated pathways” wired into our nervous system that determine how our entire body and mind work. I’m no neuroscientist, but a basic understanding of facilitated pathways in terms of personality and demeanor can be put quite simple really. Let’s say you’re walking in the park and notice someone from 100 yards away who looks distinctly like your 5th grade teacher, even though her hair and clothing is completely different from what you remember. Not because you can see her clearly, but because her movement and demeanor are distinctly as you remember, you know it is her even if just on a subconscious level.
For most people, these pathways are pretty much hardwired their entire lives. Think about it: your personality, voice patterns, body language, etc. are collectively what make you…you. However, the yogis say that by practicing asanas (yoga postures), we can actually begin to change the way our muscles and nervous system react to certain stimuli by bringing the subconscious to the conscious. In cultivating a heightened sense of awareness, we can actually begin to create new pathways in the brain and spine, thereby changing the way we move and feel.
This concept has been scientifically proven on a physical level. But when the mind comes into the picture, things get a little more interesting. Because the fundamental nature of our nervous system functions the same physically as it does mentally – with synapses and electronic impulses and all that good stuff – the same concept can be applied to the way we think. In tuning into our thought patterns and actively altering those patterns, we can actually change how we think, as well. Not just the thoughts we have, but the actual way we think. The way connections are made in the synapses, the path thoughts take every time a new one takes off. Sounds amazing, yeah?
So to do this, people often use mantras or little reminders that they repeat over and over for an extended period of time. The idea is that if you repeat something to yourself enough times – even if you don’t identify with it at the present time – your brain begins to create this belief pathway and you will actually begin to believe it eventually. Say you want to break a bad habit. To do this, you’d choose a mantra that expresses what you want to see happen. For example, someone who is chronically late no matter where they go might repeat to themselves: “I am a punctual person who never feels rushed.” They might want to repeat this whenever they feel rushed, and then 20 times each night before going to bed. (There is a lot of power of doing this right before sleeping, as the information seeps into the subconscious much easier.)
So today you might look at a chocolate cake and experience a whole array of thoughts and impulses, perhaps even causing your stomach to rumble and mouth to water. But with a little bit of work using the power of a simple mantra, sooner or later you might be able to pass a piece of cake without so much of a glance. Talk about powerful stuff! (Not that I’d ever want to give up chocolate cake…I’ve had two pieces today alone :)
With this in mind, I have decided to apply my own mantra to help let go of the home I left behind and live in the beautiful moments that I am experiencing here every day.
I am fully present in this perfect moment.
The beauty in this is so simple, so clear, that each time I use it I instantly am taken back to the here and now. I can feel the power of it working already in just a few days time.
As human beings, we are not hardwired. We can change, we can evolve. All it takes is awareness and integrity. So, if you have something you’d like to work on, give this a try. Create new pathways. Evolve. Become whoever you want to be.
**Disclaimer: I have no scientific background and don’t claim to be 100% correct about any of the inner workings of the mind and body. So if you see a mistake, deal with it :) Or feel free to enlighten me!









