Posts from the ‘NYC’ Category

Part of living in the moment is learning to let go of the past. Letting go with compassion and acceptance, without judging or wanting, so they you can fully embrace the current moment. When living in New York City, I was a typical Type-A personality. Always on the go, living by my calendar, packing as much high-energy activity into my days as possible. Physical, social, metaphysical, spiritual – you name it, I was involved in it, and on a daily basis. Any given day I’d get up before the sunrise, meditate, maybe go for a long run, fix a lovely breakfast, head off to work on my bike, run some errands during my lunch break, go from work straight to yoga, then cook or meet friends for a meal, then maybe a phone call with a friend, squeeze in some writing before bed, then finally lights out. I always balanced this insanity with yoga, meditation and reiki, so I felt quite centered and full of energy. It was somewhat of a challenge, almost a game, to fill up every waking hour of the day with something, even if that meant a quiet walk around Central Park or some other solitary time for reflection. Yes…I actually scheduled time for self-reflection. I suppose you can’t get any more New Yorker than that, eh?

This was one of the reasons I had to leave. I needed a different pace, a different setting to further explore myself and the world, without the distractions of everyday life that I so easily entertained. I knew that I couldn’t keep up that lifestyle without some form of burnout, so I decided to take a long, extended break to travel and regroup. For months I planned this “trip of a lifetime”, reading countless blogs and books as I gathered advice from others who had done something similar. I prepared for this like a classic type A person would: lots of lists, notes, research, more lists, questions, precautions, etc. It was exhausting and exhilarating and gave me something to look forward to. But now that I’m on the road, I am realizing how much energy was wasted reading about other people’s experiences, rather than fully living in the moment of my last months in NYC.

Perhaps that is why I am having some trouble letting go of what I left behind. I find myself reminiscing countless times per day, thinking about friends, teachers, familiar places and sounds. For a brief moment, I am thrilled to be “reliving” those things, but then that moment quickly passes and I realize I am halfway across the world, living new moments. And the key to being fully aware of these new experiences is to be fully present, here and now.  I find that each time I bring myself back to the present, I immediately see the true gift that I have given myself.

Man, life here is so different. So simple and beautiful. The pace is slow. I don’t even own a watch anymore. The biggest thing on my to-do list these days is hand washing my clothes. The other day I was walking back from my lunchtime swim in the sea and stopped for over ten minutes to watch a chicken and her baby chicks literally kick around dirt.

Self-exploration, a journey, whatever you want to call it. I said goodbye to amazing things and people in order to pursue something different, something more challenging, something unknown. And so far it has been all those things and more. Perhaps I keep going back to the past in order to feel a sense of security when I feel lost. Perhaps it’s for a sense of belonging when I feel alone. In truth, I am having the time of my life here and am surrounded by amazing people with beautiful energy. I don’t need to hold onto the past in order to validate myself or anything that I am doing now, because each passing moment is a chance to embrace new experiences and people as this journey unfolds. So with that in mind, I give thanks for everything I had before, and with gratitude, I let it go.