Posts from the ‘India’ Category

Today is my one-year anniversary of leaving NYC. I can’t even begin to describe the journey that unfolded, that is still unfolding, every-evolving with each day that passes. From the beaches of India to the monastic forests of Southern Thailand, back up to the untouched land of Northern Michigan, and into the beauty of the Catskills and Berkshires, I find myself using this time to reflect on all that I have learned and experienced. While I enjoy all the memories of laughter and adventure, I keep returning to all the teachers that I have been blessed to study with and learn from. So on this day, let this be a celebration of the journey and a homage to the teachers that crossed my path. May we all meet again.

Through my life, I’ve always been one to say “everything happens for a reason”, and I still believe this fully. But after this year, I can elaborate on this with certainty. People cross our paths at the exact time we are to meet. This is our gift from the Universe and I don’t believe we have any control on those meetings happening. But it is up to us to choose to cultivate and nurture a relationship – or perhaps we choose not to do anything. We are presented with opportunities, all the time, to learn from others. Sometimes these people appear as formal teachers, with credentials and certifications that resonate with us, and other times they are simply a peer or even a stranger we might only have one conversation with. What I’ve learned is this: each and every person and interaction is an opportunity for learning and growth.

So often we forget that we do not have all the answers. It’s a very humbling thing to remember as often as you can. Because that act of letting go – that choice to be vulnerable – is such a crucial tool in opening yourself up to deeper connection and ultimately, deeper learning. I used to be so intimidated by people who had more knowledge than me in the things I was interested in, especially those who could be in my peer group (opposed to an older formal teacher). That sounds so backwards, doesn’t it? But as I embarked on this trip last year, I knew I was in for a big awakening in many ways, and learning was top on my list. I wanted to learn as much as I could about yoga and spirituality, teaching, love, myself. This is a never-ending quest, of course, but I was ready to dive headfirst into it as priority #1 for the first time in my life. What occurred was beyond anything I could have imagined.

The teachers who facilitated my 200-hr yoga teacher training in Goa, India were so wonderful. Each so knowledgeable in their own right, their own specialty, and we had a number of guest lecturers come through. Beyond the eight limbs of yoga, Sanskrit, yoga history and theory, the 30 days of pure immersion with 27 other students was a huge learning experience. So many of us were traveling down similar paths: changing careers, embarking on self-discovery, searching for something greater, something more authentic and gratifying than the life we’d been living. I fell into a tight crew of girls, many of whom stayed in Goa for a month or two after the training was over. These girls were my rocks and a constant source of inspiration and knowledge. They will also all understand the picture below :)

During the training I explored dream analysis with a Zen Buddhism teacher as a way to make sense of the wild meflaquin-fueled dreams I was having each night. I’d never known the theory behind how our conscious and subconscious minds deal – or don’t deal – with the things that we dream. It was so fascinating.

One night I wandered into a restaurant called Magic Park with a dear friend of mine. Our first visit there was a game-changer for both of us, on many different levels. Teachers, friends, lovers, amazing conversation: Magic Park offered everything. One particular person – a lovely man named Rolf – taught me two invaluable lessons. First, the importance of your words, specifically suspending the use of “should” and anything similar. Ever since that day, whenever I catch myself using language with “should”, “need to”, etc, I take a deep breath and rephrase whatever I had to say. It makes a difference, changing the intention of your words like that.

The other lesson from Rolf changed how I live my life on a daily basis. You know those moments where you find yourself worrying about something you cannot control or decide about yet? For example, the moment you discover you’ve lost your phone and set out retracing your steps, or you get pulled over by a police officer, and have to sit and wait to see what happens next? It is in these moments that we can make a choice to either dwell in the worst-case scenario and let all the “what ifs” run through our minds, basically freaking ourselves out with worry; or, we can choose to breathe, relax and wait to see what actually happens. As humans, our egos are constantly drawn to the drama, and since drama doesn’t actually exist, we tend to fabricate things in our head instead. So you get pulled over. In this moment you can either choose to get overly upset because now you are going to get a ticket, have to go to court, pay a fine, which means the money you saved to buy that new suit will be gone, and to top it off you’re late for that do-or-die business lunch. So basically, this ruins your entire career. Wait—doesn’t this seem a little extreme? YES! That’s the point. The mind takes us to crazy places of worry and doubt, when in reality nothing has even happened yet. One little change in your perception of the situation could have you speaking honestly and calmly to the police officer, apologizing and owning up to your violation, being totally open to the situation. And here’s the important thing: doing all this with the intention of everything turning out just fine. Knowing that everything will be ok. And you know what? It usually is, especially if you shift your thoughts, words and actions away from worry and doubt and instead, enjoy, trust and surrender to the moment. (Thank you Rolf!)

In Goa I met a teacher for life, Master Gregory James. I was blessed to practice Tai Chi with him and other students on the shores of the Arabian Sea as the sun set, welcoming each evening with slow and steady intention. Immediately following one particularly powerful session, I experienced a breakthrough in meditation that I will never forget. It was the first time I found a physical practice that affected me more powerfully than asana (i.e. doing yoga postures). The discussions with “MG” were always insightful and thought-provoking. Every single session taught me so much about myself and my practice. Although our time was brief, I know we’ll be crossing paths again soon.

A month later I found myself in the forests of Southern Thailand, participating in a 10-day silent meditation retreat, called Vipassana. It was there that I realized the power of finding teachers in the stillness that comes from such an experience. I no longer had to look outward; instead, I sat with myself in nature. I learned just as much – or perhaps even more – from the birds, the ants, the rocks and the water than the monks and nuns who lectured each day. But most importantly, I learned from myself. Sitting in the silence of Vipassana is not just about no longer talking. It’s about finding that silence in the mind; learning from the vacillations from thought to no thoughts and everything in between. As the saying goes, the best teacher truly lies within each of us.

A month later in Bali, I was fortunate to teach my first yoga retreat. Ten days on the Northern coast of that magical island was such a learning experience. One where I deliberately put myself in a situation that terrified me. As a new teacher, I had to build up as much confidence as I could muster, even if I didn’t necessarily believe it at the time. What I found was amazing. Each and every moment served as a chance to learn, finding the connections between my actions and the students’ actions, my words and their practice. It was there I learned how unique and special each student really is, each with her own goals, struggles and reasons for coming to the mat.

The most profound teacher I met on my journey was in Bali, on the tiny party island Gili Trawangan. Why I was there, and why an enlightened Indian yogi was there, I’ll never know. But he walked straight up to me on a crowded road and asked me if I did yoga, fully knowing what my answer would be. This random-seeming occurrence was absolutely meant to be in every way, and we continue to communicate regularly from halfway across the world. Meeting Rahul was – and is – a deeply personal experience. My deepest gratitude to him and his continued teachings.

It is interesting to me that although I did not study with any formal teachers in my two-month Balinese journey, I learned more there about myself than anywhere else. Perhaps it was because of the timing, perhaps it was the energy of that magical place, or perhaps it was the beautiful company I kept there. Namely, my lovely soul sisters Jenn and Kristan. Our conversations went on for hours, each full of new realizations, perceptions and emotions. My deepest gratitude to them and all the friends I met along the way.

Back up to Thailand one last time, I had a whirlwind three weeks. The first few days I will never forget, as much as I probably wanted to forget at the time. I couch-surfed at a small ashram-type guesthouse with a Buddhist guy who told me more about myself and my character – good and bad – than I cared to face at the time. It was such a test of strength, trust and courage. I ultimately made the choice to leave the situation and continue on with my plans, but the experience showed me so much. It taught me about the delicate balance of trusting other people you encounter on this spiritual path. I saw first-hand how some seekers can get sucked into a person’s message and ultimately become a follower, due to their own weaknesses and self-doubt. Although that situation was filled with negativity and doubt, I am forever grateful for the lessons that came out of it. No one ever said you have to like a teacher in order for their message to be heard.

That last trip to Thailand I studied with a wonderful Thai massage teacher, Yan, at the Sunshine School of Thai Massage. This was the perfect example of how much I learned from my peers. There were eight people in our class, each with a body so remarkably unique that it was like starting anew each time. We were all so vocal that we quickly learned how to teach each other what felt good, what could use improvement, etc. If only people could communicate like that outside the classroom!

Socially, my time in Chaing Mai was the most unexpected blessing of my entire trip. Thanks to the amazing Emily Baxter, I was connected with an wonderful kula of yogis and yoginis. Most of us were formal teachers in some facet, the others still teachers in their own right. Never before had I felt so at home. I learned how to let go and just dive headfirst into a community of people, filled with love and total acceptance. It was like all veils were lifted and authenticity shined through each and every one of us. No matter where we were – on the mat, at a night market, in the sauna – the air just radiated with joy. It was through this experience that my standards for community were raised. My deepest gratitude to the Wild Rose Kula, especially sweet, sweet Rosemary.

Teachers. More and more I realize that formal teachers are only a small – albeit important – piece of the pie. The people you surround yourself with teach you so much, whether you invite it or not. For this reason it is so important to choose your friends and peers wisely, because you will learn from and internalize their actions and words. It doesn’t stop with people. Art, movement, nature – these can all teach us valuable lessons if we only open up and truly connect with what surrounds us. But above all, in this journey I can now say with confidence: the greatest teacher truly is yourself.